Category: Journal


Journal: Week Ending April 17, 2016

My first journal entry covering my week ending April 17, 2016.

  • Got to see my cousin Jennifer this week who was in town from Tennessee.  Hilarity ensued as I drove her and Amy around, we stopped at Walgreens, then while leaves fell from a tree as I parked, we talked about something super personal to me.  I wish I had asked them to pray with me.  Without having asked, I think they did.  My cousin later said she had achieved what she came to do which was spending time with me, which was my feeling also.  My heart feels filled.
  • As I relayed to my friend frustration over a loved one 1) not communicating the time, date, location of an event I really wanted to attend, then 2) incorrectly communicating those things, my friend said, “this must be so frustrating for you.  you are the person who lives and works in the space of human productivity and could suggest many different options for how to do this.”   My learning from this was that while some loved ones may not understand my job, they also don’t understand me, and though my job is in technology, the principals of what makes me operate are pretty universal.  The lack of understanding or willingness to work with me on my terms is as disrespectful to me as me showing no compassion to parents, those with different ability, or just about anyone who does things differently.
  • I panicked and then stopped panicking about taking on a big job worried I would be swallowed up again.  I realized that by virtue of my experience over the past year, I’ve gained the tools necessary to avoid being swallowed up.  I’ve reached out to trusted love ones to provide me with guardrails.
  • I want my friends and family to be ready for emergencies.  The Pacific Rim is on fire.  I have no desire to rebuild society, but I’d rather die on my own terms with an arsenic pill and a bottle of vodka.  If you want to prepare, check this out:  Self Preservation

Blogging…or journaling…or maybe just screaming in to the abyss.

If you opened any of the boxes in my storage, you’d find a multitude of different notebooks.

Some of these notebooks have decorative covers, some were simple spiral bound college ruled affairs.

Some would have many indecipherable scrawls covering a few months of time.  Many more would showcase the era when I copied Jeanene Mitchell’s handwriting with her distinctive lowercase e’s.

The end of each notebook’s life was marked by frustration.  In an era where digital wasn’t quite mainstream, I began to understand my ability to handwrite my thoughts was substantially outpaced by my ability to think.

Regardless, they were all attempts at capturing the story of my life.

The reason most of them stopped dead in their tracks…I knew I had something to say, but finding a way to say this while also capturing the very normal life you lead…well, that’s hard.  So rather than trying, I abandoned my daily journal and recordkeeping.

Project Sticky Note was born of the realization that the lessons of my life were passing me by without appropriate attention.  I recorded these on sticky notes, focused on writing about each in the context of my own life.

What has appeared to date on this blog have been more fully formed ideas or concepts and life principals that have become important to me.  Even when the posts seem chaotic and lacking development, I promise you they have rattled around in my head for a great long while before they appear here.

While I attempt to form more fully considered concepts, my life continues and I’ve not captured that day to day context here.

Starting today, on Sunday, I’ll record my answers to a few consistent “questions” or prompts and sometimes maybe ad-lib a little.

You can find this in the Journal section moving forward.