I will die some day. Increasingly, I find myself discussing this with friends, my therapist, loved ones. There is a moment in where you embrace your inevitable conclusion. I suppose I’ve reached it.
Don’t get me wrong – I have no desire to die, but I cannot tolerate a future where I cannot care for myself, move my body of my own free will, or am otherwise incapacitated in a way that diminishes my quality of life.
Jokingly, my friend once drafted this graphic about the “Optimal End Of Life Point” which I don’t disagree with.
There is a point where the effort outweighs the return.
A point where the effort to sustain is far overwhelmed by the possibility of rest.
When the certain joy of another moment with loved ones is exceeded by your faith in a life with them that lasts far longer than those moments.
Where your legacy is what it is and you accept that. A moment where you acknowledge and accept the limitations of your life but have gratitude for what it may have accomplished.
It’s not a moment lacking hope or possibility, but a moment of belief in the limitlessness of possibility and the boundlessness of hope.
My hospitalization in November served as a stark reminder of how much my own affairs lacked the level of thought and consideration anyone should give as they approach their 40s.
Moreover, still in the midst of settling my own father’s estate on the verge of his birthday in 10 days, I’m reminded of how challenging it can be to settle someone’s affairs in their absence and how much something like a Living Will and healthcare directives can help clarify for your loved ones what you hope will define your end of life.
So tonight I finalized by “Last Will and Testament.” It isn’t notarized nor do many of those listed in the document know that they’ve been designated in certain roles. I’ll do that this week.
It was remarkably helpful in highlighting the things I cared about, the hopes I had for those that will live beyond me, my belief that each of my beneficiaries work hard to achieve their own security and not build on any inheritance I provide, and my absolutely steadfast commitment to not having my death become a source of separation and argument in my family.
I drafted the following clauses in addition to the boiler plate Will standard for someone of my status and I’ll meet with my attorney tomorrow to ensure the language I’ve drafted passes:
- CHARITABLE GIVING CLAUSE:
- To sell or convey any part of my estate whether real, personal or mixed, not otherwise designated specifically in this Will, for cash or on credit, at a public or private sale; 50% of any net proceeds from these sales will fund back to the estate for proportional distribution and the remaining 50% will be given to a non-profit charitable organization of my designation; if no designation exists, it will be at the PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE’s discretion to select a non-profit charitable organization that in no way suppresses any other and ultimately serves to help each human achieve their full potential to the best extent possible.
- GAY SCRUB CLAUSE:
- I REQUIRE my PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE, designated attorney under attorney client privilege, and ************** visit my home, vehicle, and office to “scrub” the location of any embarrassing or otherwise damaging material, paraphernalia, or objects such as sex toys, which family members need not see upon my death.
- EXECUTION PRINCIPLES:
- Communicate openly, honestly, transparently, legally, and compliantly with all involved parties;
- Prioritize health, well-being, and happiness of their family versus specific monetary gain; any decisions identified as not supportive of my estate’s health must be identified via SIBLINGS and BROTHER IN LAW (or those inheriting their privileges)
- BITCH PLEASE CLAUSE:
- In the event any litigation is required due to dispute among those listed in Section 1, all legal fees, associated costs, filing feels, or other costs should be paid out of the inheritance designated for those listed as plaintiffs or defendants on the legal claims. If such funds are exhausted, the legal claim regardless of merit shall be dismissed and all remaining proceeds shall be paid to the non-defendants and non-plaintiffs designated in Section 1.
- ONLINE DIGITAL ASSETS CLAUSE:
- Any and all cloud based digital assets inclusive but not limited to music, photos, videos, documents, or any other assets monetarily valuable or otherwise shall be made available for full access and transfer of ownership to the PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE and all family members designated in SECTION 1 with equal and unrestricted rights. ACCOUNTS intended for coverage in this clause are designated in the appendix section.
- All assets covered in this clause shall be first reviewed under the GAY SCRUB CLAUSE within 90 days of my death, then made available to those listed in SECTION 1 regardless of review status. My PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE and ************** under supervision by a designated attorney under attorney client privilege shall make decisions within 90 days of my death as to whether any aforementioned digital assets should be withheld from broader distribution.
- I’M GOING TO THE LAKE CLAUSE:
- I direct that my body be cremated as soon after my death as possible and that the disposition of my ashes AS FOLLOWS: PRIEST LAKE IDAHO, NEAREST TO NORDMAN AND THE CURRENT OR FORMER LOCATION OF ELKIN’S ON PRIEST LAKE.