I sat down tonight to finish a blog post I’ve been working on a bit, and while searching for a photo that I thought particularly relevant to the post, surfaced two photos I’ve not seen for a while.
They are of my friend Brian and me.
Nothing about them has anything to do with what I was searching for, but they surfaced none the less.
Strangely, this happened right after I found a truly cherished artifact of our friendship – a handwritten card from Brian. I found it in a bag mixed in with what is otherwise garbage, though I never would have thrown this card out. Never in a million years. It is dated 2012.
I’m glad I examined the contents.
This card was so meaningful for so many different reasons. It was important to me because of the message written within and it is almost irreplaceable because the disks attached to the back contain video of my friend Rjay appearing on King 5 television during a local singing contest he had participated in nearly a decade earlier.
My friend Rjay had died just a month or so earlier at the age of 30 when Brian gave me this card.
In the desperation and pain I was feeling over the loss of one friend, I asked Brian to do what he could to try and find this footage. Given it was more than a decade after the show had aired, it was likely long ago disposed of.
Days or weeks later, I don’t remember, Brian told me he had something to give me and needed to come over and frustrating the hell out of me, wouldn’t tell me why. I think I yelled at him for holding back information.
Then he came through my door, handed me that card, and I remembered exactly why I love him. He delivered. In the most unpredictable, uncommunicated, random and frustrating way — he just delivered. He’s never let me down. Pissed me off, yes. Let me down, no.
It’s not unlike the time when on the last full day of AIDS/LifeCycle he just showed up in Ventura, California to surprise me. (Start at 2:45 for the part where I’m surprised…Brian likes his camera time! :))
He has held me as I cried at night, supported me through bad decisions, and never ever judged me.
Boy can we get under each other’s skin. He pushes my buttons like no one else, and I push his like no one else (though he’s unlikely to admit it). We can go from violent disagreement to hugs and a fun time faster than my M3 can go from zero to 60.
If I had to hold up a single example of unconditional acceptance, patience, forgiveness, friendship, and love in the form of a friend, Brian would be it.
I most certainly found one of the five in him.
And I’m so thankful that I have.